“What’s this?” said Joey, pointing to the Autoblow Blast sitting on the shelf next to the oil cans in Frankie’s Auto Bodyshop.

“That Joey, is the best goddam blowjob you’ll ever get in this lifetime.”

“No kidding!”

Joey was about to pick it up, but Frankie stopped him. “Hey Joey, give me a break huh, that’s my sex toy for Chrissakes, I don’t want you playing with my blowjob machine.”

“Oh, sorry Frankie”

“Your car will be ready in 20 minutes. Take a seat, read a magazine, make yourself at home. I’ll drive it out onto the yard when I’m done, ok?”

“OK cool” said Joey, hands in pockets “I’ll take a seat.”

“And don’t touch my Autoblow!” Frankie called back as he disappeared into the workshop.

Joey sat down and idly flipped through the old magazines, but they weren’t holding his attention. His gaze kept returning to the Autoblow Blast.

‘Best blowjob in the world, huh, how about that’. It had to be worth a try. Joey got up and checked that Frankie wasn’t within sight. He peeped round the door into the workshop but he was nowhere to be seen.

Joey snuck back to the shelves, and with one last furtive glance picked up the Autoblow Blast and walked across to the other side of the room. Now if Frankie suddenly returned, he wouldn’t see Joey giving himself the best blowjob he was ever likely to get in this lifetime.

Joey inspected the Autoblow Blast, quickly figuring out what to do. He unzipped and was just about to ease himself into the soft, inviting silicone sleeve when the whole room shook with an explosion.

Joey was thrown to the floor. The Autoblow flew from his grasp, landing several feet away from him. He was expecting a great blowjob, but nothing like this.

Frankie walked back through the door looking whiter than the paint job he had given to Joey’s Cadillac.

“Jesus H. Christ, what the hell happened here?”  he wailed. He saw Joey on the floor, but with relief, he noted he was picking himself up and dusting himself off.

Several oil cans had exploded leaving a swathe of slick, glistening oil all over the walls and the floor. Frankie asked Joey to help him with the fire extinguishers, and after a few minutes of hard spraying, the whole area was a mess of white foam, but the flames were licked.

“Jeez Frankie. I’m so sorry, I picked up your blowjob machine and a minute later the whole place just exploded.”

“My God Joey,” said Frankie staring earnestly at Joey.

“I think you might have just saved my life! That explosion was meant for me! A few folks know I like to relax with my Autoblow after a hard days’ work. I’m going to have to get the cops in on this one.”

“Will you still be needing the Autoblow as evidence?” asked Joey tentatively.

Frankie stared suspiciously at Joey. “I know where you’re going with this Joey and the answer’s no.  You might have just saved my life, but you’re not getting my Autoblow. Buy your own.”

Joey grinned and went and retrieved the Autoblow Blast from the floor. He handed it back to Frankie.

“Just a thought” he said.

“Maybe you should draw up a list of people you’ve refused a go on this thing. Then you might find your culprit!”

For further information on the incredibly explosive Autoblow Blast, visit: www.roboticblowjob.com

Holy blowjobs – if that’s not too much of an oxymoron – this machine really sucks! The Autoblow Blast delivers a perfectly executed deep throat blowjob without the tedious hand cranking most male masturbators require to get you there. Insert yourself into the soft, inviting silicone sleeve and micro-beads ride up and down the length of your cock like an exhilarating blowjob rollercoaster you can perfectly pilot with a multi-speed controller.

The sensations given by the Autoblow are resoundingly solid, intense and much more of a sure thing than your wife or girlfriend. The origins of the product however are shrouded in mystery.

The Autoblow is rumored to originate from deep in the forests of Transylvania, but locals will not talk of it; taverns go quiet and villagers close their doors when you approach. It is whispered that vampires, realizing that the blood sucking business was dying a death, needed to go suck something else in a hurry. The Autoblow was the answer, and all profits are said to go to ‘those that run with the wolves’.

Their cause was taken up by a shadowy ‘gentleman’ who shares their passion for toiling only at night.  Nothing can be ascertained, confirmed or indeed denied about his involvement. Known only as Mr. Autoblow, come the dawn, the man disappears like will-o-the wisp.

The factory, where the Autoblow is lovingly assembled by former Chinese concubines long used to the rigours of the sex industry, runs throughout the night to the accompaniment of music by Los Indios Tabajaras, two guitar playing brothers from Brazil whose beginnings are also long lost in the mists of time.

What is certain is this; if you are searching for a top notch sucking sensation for your aching member, the Autoblow Blast is designed by those who know a thing or two about what it takes to suck.