www.roboticblowjob.com

“What’s this?” said Joey, pointing to the Autoblow Blast sitting on the shelf next to the oil cans in Frankie’s Auto Bodyshop.

“That Joey, is the best goddam blowjob you’ll ever get in this lifetime.”

“No kidding!”

Joey was about to pick it up, but Frankie stopped him. “Hey Joey, give me a break huh, that’s my sex toy for Chrissakes, I don’t want you playing with my blowjob machine.”

“Oh, sorry Frankie”

“Your car will be ready in 20 minutes. Take a seat, read a magazine, make yourself at home. I’ll drive it out onto the yard when I’m done, ok?”

“OK cool” said Joey, hands in pockets “I’ll take a seat.”

“And don’t touch my Autoblow!” Frankie called back as he disappeared into the workshop.

Joey sat down and idly flipped through the old magazines, but they weren’t holding his attention. His gaze kept returning to the Autoblow Blast.

‘Best blowjob in the world, huh, how about that’. It had to be worth a try. Joey got up and checked that Frankie wasn’t within sight. He peeped round the door into the workshop but he was nowhere to be seen.

Joey snuck back to the shelves, and with one last furtive glance picked up the Autoblow Blast and walked across to the other side of the room. Now if Frankie suddenly returned, he wouldn’t see Joey giving himself the best blowjob he was ever likely to get in this lifetime.

Joey inspected the Autoblow Blast, quickly figuring out what to do. He unzipped and was just about to ease himself into the soft, inviting silicone sleeve when the whole room shook with an explosion.

Joey was thrown to the floor. The Autoblow flew from his grasp, landing several feet away from him. He was expecting a great blowjob, but nothing like this.

Frankie walked back through the door looking whiter than the paint job he had given to Joey’s Cadillac.

“Jesus H. Christ, what the hell happened here?”  he wailed. He saw Joey on the floor, but with relief, he noted he was picking himself up and dusting himself off.

Several oil cans had exploded leaving a swathe of slick, glistening oil all over the walls and the floor. Frankie asked Joey to help him with the fire extinguishers, and after a few minutes of hard spraying, the whole area was a mess of white foam, but the flames were licked.

“Jeez Frankie. I’m so sorry, I picked up your blowjob machine and a minute later the whole place just exploded.”

“My God Joey,” said Frankie staring earnestly at Joey.

“I think you might have just saved my life! That explosion was meant for me! A few folks know I like to relax with my Autoblow after a hard days’ work. I’m going to have to get the cops in on this one.”

“Will you still be needing the Autoblow as evidence?” asked Joey tentatively.

Frankie stared suspiciously at Joey. “I know where you’re going with this Joey and the answer’s no.  You might have just saved my life, but you’re not getting my Autoblow. Buy your own.”

Joey grinned and went and retrieved the Autoblow Blast from the floor. He handed it back to Frankie.

“Just a thought” he said.

“Maybe you should draw up a list of people you’ve refused a go on this thing. Then you might find your culprit!”

For further information on the incredibly explosive Autoblow Blast, visit: www.roboticblowjob.com

The Japanese manufacturers call this the first all dimension construction sex toy, and it’s amongst the best of the realistic pussy products from the land of the rising sun.

Utensil Race have made a whole series of first class masturbation toys, and the so called Extreme Hip is 5kg of squeezable, pliable top notch silicone technology. The innovative Utensil Race has been made to full scale and incorporates ‘zero diameter’ technology that replicates the feel of pushing through layers of soft flesh and muscle.

The difference with the Utensil Race Extreme Hip and a normal masturbator sleeve is that a normal one is just a hole or a love tunnel. The aperture or opening on the Utensil Race with its practically zero diameter perfectly imitates a real pussy, and it’s this that gives it its awesome authenticity.

And to ensure that the effect is as mind-blowingly realistic as possible, the developers inspected over 70,000 real life pussies! Yes, they were up to their eyes in pussy for months and months to ensure that the Extreme Hip replicated the exact internal dimensions of a real pussy. Maybe that’s why they call it Extreme. But the feeling as you lube up and plunge in is also extremely authentic.

Like all the best sex toys, there are separate entrances for the pussy and the ass, each with its own individual sensation and penetration experience – the anal entrance obviously being that bit tighter.

Unlike many sex toys it does not reek of plastic, instead it is fragrant, and the entrances are stretchy enough to accommodate even bigger boys.

But just how good is it? We let the paying customers have the casting vote:

“I’ve owned a few pussies/masturbators before, but this is hugely better than anything I’ve ever tried. When I first got it I was amazed at how close to the real thing it feels and also how amazing! There are bad points however : The back entry is far too shallow. I’m average sized and I think I could rip it if not careful. Also it’s difficult to clean, due to being closed off.”

“Wow!  Have all these toys so greatly evolved or is this one just really exceptional? It has a nice smell, almost like a real body, and it feels so realistic, it’s incredible. I can only compare with the one toy I had many years ago but I don’t regret buying this one. If you’re looking for a male sex toy then go for this one!  I had no problem using the back entry without tearing it apart and I’m not that small either!”

“I’ve owned many vagina style sex toys (and I mean many) over the years. From silicone to Cyberskin and rubber, but this really is the best thing on the market today. In my opinion, no other model comes as close to the real thing as this amazing real flesh feeling.”

“Full marks to the creator. I’m thinking of buying some for spares in case they stop making it. I don’t want to buy any other product. I also used the butt entry and there was no splitting whatsoever, even though I’m pretty big!”

The sex toy is far from new, it’s been on the market for at least 5 years. The lady whose name is on the box and whose pussy you will be ploughing, is 41 years old.

But no doubt about it, Juli Ashton’s Ultra Realistic Pussy & Ass is one of the best selling male sex toys on the market.

This sex toy ticks a lot of boxes in terms of what makes a male masturbation toy great.

First it is porn star endorsed, which means it has allure for several guys who fantasize about making it with a top porn star.

Second, Juli assumes the number one favorite position beloved of many men, the doggy style position. Several surveys show this position is favoured by men more than any other, and Juli makes this position look red hot.

Third, the product is made by Doc Johnson, a trusted name in the sex toy industry, and it is an exact life size replica of Juli’s pussy and ass, lovingly rendered in UR3, an ultra realistic silicone plastic that warms to the touch.

Fourth, the toy has separate love tunnels for the pussy and ass, which contrivutes to an exciting experience whichever way the guy decides to penetrate the sex toy.

And to ensure maximum pleasure, the sex toy comes with a bullet and a multi speed controller to add powerful vibratory sensations. It’s not that any of these features are particularly new or unique, it’s just that they are all carefully combined into one quality toy. And it’s this that makes Juli Ashton’s such a big hit with guys.

Of the many online sex stores that stock the product, this one seems to garner more favorable reviews than any other. Praise is often lavish:

“Excellent product! The pussy lips lost their colour after the first wash but that has no effect on the pleasure that this sex toy can give. It takes a bit of practice to work out how to place/hold the toy to get best results but after that ecstasy is the limit. Lube is a must … and so is this product!!”

“Utterly superb!! She is unbelievable!!!! What other reviews have failed to mention is the wonderful way you can play with her before sex. She makes a wonderfully realistic slapping sound when spanking her cheeks and they quiver as if real. You can stretch her ass wider or push those cheeks together to see her butt crack. And also she does a great ‘69′ whilst you wank off.”

Absolutely amazing, I’ll never need another woman. Buy it!

Juli Ashton Ultra Realistic Pussy & Ass retails for around $269.99, but it pays to shop around for the best price.

‘Tis the season to be merry, and we’ve got an all star line up of masturbator sex toys to make you all the more merrier. Insist on one of these little beauties finding its way into your stocking and you’ll be fully stoked throughout Christmas:

The Anal Orifice Masturbator
This will get all your bells jingling. The Anal Orifice Masturbator is a portable masturbator that incorporates a wonderfully super soft foam inlay tunnel of joy that feels just like the real thing. Just apply favorite lube and slip your aching tool into the tight anal orifice and pump away till you blow your load.

Bomber Jacket Nooki Sleave
Slip this in his stocking and he’ll slip into it quicker than you can pull a Christmas cracker. Lube up and you won’t fail to notice how the Nooki Sleeve is so nice and slippery when wet. Its ribbed inner sleeve gives a tight, tantalising grip as you ump away. Perfect way to get in the party spirit.

Cyberskin Buddy
You’ll be well away in a manger with the Cyberskin Buddy. Proof that you don’t need a porn star endorsed toy to get stuck into a really good pocket pussy. This Cyberskin pussy has a soft inner wall that feels so good and so lifelike it won’t take long for Christmas to reach a rousing climax.

Jack Master Premium Masturbator
Voted the number 1 sex toy by the American Pumpers Association, who really have a good grip on things. This premium pleasure pumper has a dual sided pleasure chamber with unique tinglers and ridges and the FLEX-GRIP design for controlled pressure. This could well be your Christmas number one.